Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ten Things I Can't Do Anymore

As the senior (yes, I mean oldest) sister, I probably had an easier time coming up with 10 things that I can't do anymore than my younger friends would. That's right, this list is not just 10 things I can't do...but rather 10 rare gifts or talents that are no longer in my repertoire. Sad, I know. Please hold all tears until the end of the post. Here we go...

NUMBER ONE...I can no longer do a back bend from a standing position. Not since high school. I used to be able to bend backwards and place my hands on the floor behind me and then kick my feet over, not in one fluid movement like a gymnast or anything but I was proud of it. My question is...if I had done a back bend once a day, everyday, from high school on, would I be able to do it today? Something to ponder.

NUMBER TWO...I can no longer run. If something big and hungry was chasing me I might have to rescind this statement but for exercising purposes I really can no longer run. I tried this past spring and it wasn't pretty. Lulu was running a timed mile in gym class and wanted to try it at home. I agreed to go along. I figured I could run a mile, maybe not quickly, but I really thought I could. Apparently my lungs forget how to work when I run because after about one minute I could no longer breathe! I will stick to walking. And for the record I was on the cross-country team for 1 year in high school and the track team for 4 years so there is proof that I did run, once upon a time.

NUMBER THREE...I can no longer stay up all night. The mayor and I frequently stayed up all night in college, cramming for exams. We used to go to Perkin's in Buffalo and get a table and some coffee (tea for me) and stay there all night studying. Now, if I have less than 5 hours of sleep in a night I am pretty much handicapped for the rest of the week.

NUMBER FOUR...I can no longer watch a scary movie. I used to watch tons in high school and we would laugh at the scary parts. Now they freak me out! I think the last scary movie I watched was Signs and I still can't think about that scary alien leg that you glimpse in the rows of corn...aggggggg!!!

NUMBER FIVE...I can no longer chew sugary gum. It makes my teeth ache and also makes me feel really guilty. My teeth are one of my best assets after years of braces and I feel like I need to preserve them. My freshman college roommate came to school with a tub of Bazooka bubblegum from Sam's Club. We chewed like 15 pieces a day for the whole first semester. Needless to say I went home for Christmas break and had my first and only cavity! (See, you are learning a lot of interesting things about me that you didn't know you wanted to know!)

NUMBER SIX...I can no longer do any complicated math. I can barely help Lulu with her homework, not that she needs it often. And this from a girl who took 4 semesters of college calculus. I do think that is sad, all that knowledge gone from the old noodle. Instead, now I know what deckle scissors are. If you don't know that, then you need to do less math and more crafts!

NUMBER SEVEN...I can no longer have plants in my house because my cats will eat them.

NUMBER EIGHT...I can no longer keep my house as tidy as I would like it to be. There is just too much going on, and too much stuff coming in the door everyday. Stuff like school papers and dirty laundry from sports and I barely am staying organized at this point in the game. Hopefully it is just a phase. I remember the days when the kids were little and all you had to do was pick up a few toys after they went to bed. Now, I spend time signing permission slips, making lunches, checking homework, drying out swim caps, sorting papers, sewing scout badges onto uniforms and driving back and forth to a lot of activities! Plus, we have three cats which makes for a lot of hair to clean off the floors and chairs and couch and stairs and...

NUMBER NINE...I must admit I can no longer fit into my wedding dress. I will leave it at that, except it probably has something to do with not being able to run (see number two.)

NUMBER TEN...I can no longer swim in the ocean. This however is more of a choice than a loss of ability. I have fond memories of snorkeling with the mayor on vacations during the newly wed years. But since then I have watched a few too many shows during Shark Week and have no desire to go in past my ankles!!

Okay, that was fun! Everyone post one thing they can no longer do in the comments so we can all laugh at you too! Love you guys!!


  1. Don't feel bad too long about not being able to do those 10 things! As the youngest sis (aside from Lulu of course), i have NEVER been able to do #'s: 1-6 and 8. And #7 applies in a different way (i just can't keep them alive). A few more years, and we'll add #9 to the list. haha.

    One thing I can't do that I was able to do before though is eat to my heart's content! One of my favorite parts of college was that there was always a buffet somewhere. Gone are the days when I could carefree-ly toss back a few donuts with a big glass of milk, eat chicken cordon blue with a hot dog (just because they were serving both and i couldnt decide between the two!) and have no fears of stomach ache reprucussions (ok this was pre-college) or muffin top. I was burning it off during midnight capture the flag games and swims in the ocean (with the sharks ;) )! Now I have to read labels, do research, cook for myself, eat fruit, etc. *sigh. I love food.


  2. I just loved this post... as for me...i don't think i could ever in my entire life do # 1...#2 I keep telling myself i need to... and then i went and played soccer last week... and i really thought i was going to DIE... and I only play in goal as keeper... i know sad... i wasn't even running!!!! As for # 3 sadly yes... i can still do this. However it only occurs when I am required to by my job and it is never pretty!!! I end up going to starbucks to get a red eye just to keep myself awake and then I just wind up having tremors and palpitations all night long.... (very bad when you have to get IV's into people). As for 4, 5, 6, 7, and 9... i have to agree...can't really do any of those...and number 10 i really have been contemplating lately!!! does the benifit outweigh the risk.... im not so sure anymore!!! But YES.. just one... i can still do...# 8!!!! YEA! but... you got me thinking Nel!!! what am I gonna do when they are older!!!! Im having anxiety!!! HAHA *Mar~

  3. Math shmath ... who needs it? I'll brave the sharks in the ocean 'cause I love drinking gallons of salt water (sarcasm). I just started running recently - the first couple times I felt like my lungs were screaming "stop!" at me. Now they wait until about a mile to let me know it's time to stop. I stay up all night on a regular basis. Of course, I sleep all day. Does that still count?

  4. ok...this was funny...friday's my favorite day lately...alright...well...i never tried #1...don't think i will either...i'm not a fan of #2-ing for anything, even if something big & hungry was chasing me...i think i'd stop and ask if the big and hungry thing would like some nice yummy pumpkin whoopie pies from Martha instead of something chewy & boney like me...i can prob do #3 if i was doing something super fun like...any sort of craft...but then i would probably be the big mean hungry thing come morning...#4 is not really something i like either, even though signs was not a problem for me...but I AM LEGEND was!!!!...don't watch it...
    #5...i'm just so jealous about your ONE cavity (and your beautiful teeth) when the girls happen to catch a glimpse in my mouth, their like "mom!! what's all that shiny stuff?!?!"
    ...don't even ask about #6...i barely made it through middle school...#7 i still have 2 out of my 4 herbs alive...does that count? #8 oh how i wish i could dwell on this...#9 is pretty funny if you think about it...aren't we all glad we'll never need to :) and if we had a vow renewal or something it would be majorly out of style...#10...if there's animals in the ocean...which i'm pretty sure there is...well nuf said...soooooooooo...something i can't do anymore? i used to be able to (pre-kids era) down a whole bag of doritos or even a whole tube of pringles in one sitting (gross)and still keep my figure, you know back in the days when that would have been considered "a lunch"...add a fruit cup and it was a well rounded, serious repercussions...
    (sorry forgot to say it was me!) ♥J.


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